I was recently conducting a search for an executive for a large well known company. After one of my candidates was interviewed, I was eager to hear what I thought would be my client’s thumbs up feedback. I was stunned to hear that while he looked fabulous on paper, he had totally blown it in his interview with her.

What happened?

My client was very put off by the sound of desperation she picked up from the candidate. She said he seemed more desperate to have a job—and frankly any job–than excited about the position itself. Doing a job search can be tough, and it’s hard to be “up” when the mortgage is due—again.

Trying to cover up being discouraged, desperate or whatever word describes how you might be feeling doesn’t work. Your feeling creeps out in words, energy level and even the subliminal cues that constitute such a large part of how the listener perceives our message.

How to turn that feeling of desperation around without trying to lie to yourself.

What can you do to change your mood/energy/mindset? Here’s one simple exercise that can really help. It may seem too simplistic to be useful, but you’ll know in just a couple of minutes if it can help you turn your attitude around. So please just go with me for a minute.

I want you to write down all the things you can think of that are positive about your current situation.

Is this just doing affirmations?

I don’t want you to try to tell yourself that everything is rosy and you sure wish you had been out of a job much earlier! Those statements are similar to affirmations. I don’t know about you, but they never really worked for me. It seemed I was saying things that, while I wanted them to be true, they weren’t. That actually made me feel worse.

So instead, please start identifying some of the good things you have experienced since you started your job search.

Examples of positive things that came out of job search

Here are some I’ve heard while doing this with my coaching clients:

• I’ve gotten to spend more time with my 4 year old son. It’s amazing what that has done for our relationship and I wouldn’t have had that if I were working.

• I’ve met some really great people, and I’m astounded they are so willing to assist me. I’ve made some real friends I’ll have for a long time.

• I’ve had a chance to think about what I really want to do in my next position, and think seriously about what is important to me for the first time in a long time.

• I’ve gotten a lot more savvy about networking—online and offline—and those new skills will help me in my next professional role.

• I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone—a lot. I’m seeing that I actually can do things even when they seem scary and “not like me.”

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If you spend just a little time each day thinking of what is positive, you will be able to focus more positively. You will then start to have a more positive attitude. That conveys a sense confidence and enthusiasm for the position—all of which is attractive to hiring managers.

Feeling better will make a difference. I know it might sound a little airy fairy, but just give it a try. Let me know what happens.